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A Close Shave

A businessman went to his barber for a shave. To the man's
disappointment, his barber was booked up for the day.

The barber realized the man did indeed need a shave, and said to him "My
wife, Grace, could shave you today. She's right upstairs in our apartment."

So the man hurried off to the barber's wife for a shave.

The next day, the business man noticed he didn't have a five o'clock
shadow. A week went by, then two weeks, and still the man did not need a
shave.

The man, being curious, went to see his barber wondering what in the world
Grace had done.

The barber replied, "Once shaved by Grace always shaved by Grace."



Have you found Jesus yet?

A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon
down by the river.

He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the
preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says,
"Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk looks back and says, "Yes, Preacher, I sure am."

The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him
right back up. "Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked.

"Nooo, I didn't!" said the drunk.

The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings
him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"

"Noooo, I have not, Reverend."

The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30
seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a
harsh tone, "Man, have you found Jesus yet?"

The old drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher,
"Are you sure this is where he fell in?"


 

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