::+:: Religions And Fire ::+::

Is it always practicality vs religion?

During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary rushed in shouting, "The building is on fire!"

The METHODISTS gathered in the corner and prayed.

The BAPTISTS cried, "Where is the holy water?"

The QUAKERS quietly praised G-d for the blessings that fire bring.

LUTHERANS posted a notice on the door declaring the fire was evil.

The ROMAN CATHOLICS passed the plate to cover the damage.

The JEWS posted symbols on the doors hoping the fire would pass.

The CONGREGATIONALISTS shouted, "Every man for himself!"

The FUNDAMENTALISTS proclaimed, "It's the vengeance of G-d!"

The EPISCOPALIANS formed a procession and marched out.

The CHRISTIAN SCIENTISTS concluded that there was no fire.

The PRESBYTERIANS appointed a chairperson who was to appoint a committee to look into the matter and submit a written report.

The secretary grabbed the fire extinguisher and put the fire out.

With His Help

A farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds, the farmhouse is falling apart, and the fences are collapsing all around.

During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man's work, saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!"

A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. Lo and behold, it's like a completely different place--the farm house is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there is plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows.

"Amazing!" the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!"

"Yes, reverend," says the farmer, "It's quite astounding when you consider what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"

A patient tells the Doctor, "I've been going to a faith healer, but I wasn't
getting any better."
The Doctor smiled and said, "And what dumb advice did this phoney give you?"
"He told me to come see you" replied the new patient.

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